Undone: Free on Amazon.com
A father whose childhood wounds have left him undone.
A young man fears everything he touches — everything he loves — is either destroyed or destined to abandon him.
Kendall, a newlywed and mother of two, answers her most frequently asked questions, questions her choices, fears for her life, and comes undone.
Tyrannical Spencer believes the woman he has married is in desperate need of a new outlook on life, love and marriage. Although he struggles with the way he is perceived by outsiders, one thing is for sure: If he can’t possess her, no one will …
Olive manages to alienate her son and co-workers. She creates her own nightmare, and it seems as if she relives this purgatory — this terror inside — day in and day out ..
Find out what’s inside ..
I hope your week is going well!!
I hate to be redundant, but I really do love quotes, art, poetry and browsing the Facebook pages, where people have combined the two! (I meant three …)
So Happy Friday, and I hope you enjoy a few more of my favorite Facebook pages:
facebook.com/nextgenmilspouse Happy I found this site, geared mostly toward the military spouse
facebook.com/girlfriendshub this is a new one to me. here, they provide quotes, questions of the day, as well as links to other inspirational creatives
facebook.com/positiveandinspirationalquotes as I said, I love positive quotes and inspiring scripture .. find great quotes here
facebook.com/reinacottierart I love the paintings and quotes she shares. she’s quite gifted.
facebook.com/flora.fusion very talented, creates bookmarks so beautiful, that they stop you in your tracks
facebook.com/madhattersteaparty appeals to that daydreamer part of me. I visit this page often
facebook.com/unbound-boxes-limping-gods very talented author and illustrator .. worth checking out .. seriously
facebook.com/sevenappleschristianart absolutely love this page … the scriptures and art are fascinating
facebook.com/blissbeautycoffeecupcakes words and images that you can’t help but connect with. very inspiring
facebook.com/urbanwallart definitely one of the pages I visit most often
facebook.com/arttherapyblog great articles and posts, always uplifting
What is your page? What are your favorite pages? Feel free to share in the links.
(the above picture is from imageafter.com)
Humming. Now he’s singing. She’s light years away, but she can hear him – the little one, singing his favorite song, “Twinkle twinkle little star … how I wonder where you are …”
She thinks to herself, what you are, not where you are.
She considers correcting him. Instead, she looks away, overwhelmed, and a tear rolls. Where you are, she thinks.
Everyone wonders, asks, admonishes, but no one quite knows. For that word, depression, is more than the “allotted” moment of grief, a bad day that affected you so deeply you crumbled – depression is more than the average predator.
It stalks, preys, enters, lies dormant and feasts on all things good. The host knows, but has no choice, truly, but to hover over his/her own physical body and watch as the temple falls and is left in ruins.
There are expectations, commitments, responsibilities, work, people who refuse to understand, all weighing heavy upon an already heavy heart. Blame, judgment, anxiety, confusion, sadness, distortion – please see this monster for what it really is: A predator. You are not weak. You are not to blame. You are not to blame.
You are not to internalize judgment or apathy. You are not to blame for your illness, just as one who is schizophrenic is not to blame for for the hallucination – the voices. You are not to blame.
Clouds will break.
Heart will be healed.
The ones who truly loved you will truly see you and support you.
And when he sings, “Twinkle, twinkle little star, how I wonder where you are …”
You will consider correcting him. Instead, you will smile and sing along. ” … up above the world so high … like a diamond in the sky.”
Know that it will get better. Know that you are not alone. Know that your smile is not gone; it is only hiding, and like the stars, it will twinkle once again, soon.
Thank you to all who participated, read and commented as we spread a bit of awareness.
A poem by
All you gotta’ do is say yes…well I say no. I will sit here and watch my ions detach themselves from me one by one. I will sit here … and watch the loud creations of dust and cob form before mine eye. I will sit and let my bones become disappointed in my lack of energy and sustenance. I will sit and bewilder my interests as they become more interested in me. I will sit and vacate all the colors of white from my pupil. I see a dark tunnel and I will sit and bear down on the thought of infinity…then release the pressure from my breastplate.
Close that tunnel..
seal it with a locket..
leave and abandon
” .. Have you ever seen the demon/evil one in a horror movie distorting, twitching, and flying into a million pieces? That is how your mind and emotions flow. Painful and all over the place. Trying to make a focused decision when you are depressed is like holding a ten ton weight while fighting to poke a hole through a dark trash bag in search of light.” ~Ey Wade
“I think just the fear of “being an adult” in addition to moving away from painful memories in my past had me stuck in a very sad limbo. Although the “upside” is that most of my most powerful writing comes when I am sad/depressed. It’s a blessing and a curse to be so sensitive. Depression feels like I’m wearing my heart/feelings on the soles of my feet. Everything hurts. YET IT CAN AND WILL GET BETTER, SO KEEP FIGHTING!!! ~Andrea R. Cunningham
Again, please know that it will get better. Know that you are not alone. Know that your smile is not gone; it is only hiding, and like the stars, it will twinkle once again, soon.
(this is a photo from imageafter.com )
Today, we share part two of Emiliana Martín’s interview about depression.
Here is the link to Part 1: Depression: Words with Emiliana (Part 1)
Emiliana is a second generation American of Puerto Rican descent. From the moment she could hold a writing instrument she has been a writer. She has been a widowed mother of two since her husband died in 2006. She is an incest and ritual abuse survivor diagnosed with major depressive disorder and PTSD.
She’s a woman on a mission. She loves Jesus and wants others to see Jesus is right beside them every step of the way. Emiliana refuses to let life circumstances dictate who she is. She’s been to hell and back, persevered, and doesn’t mind writing about it. It’s been difficult but in the spirit of Psalm 37:25, they, the righteous, have never been forsaken nor had to beg for bread.
This next chapter is full of blank pages. She knows God has BIG plans for her and those plans are just beginning to be revealed. Recently, she heard Danny Silk talk on “Follow your favor.” Her gifting is mass communication. She has no reservations about her abilities. She has always been good at it and others always have noticed. It comes as naturally as breathing.
What do you tell family and friends who desperately want to understand and encourage you, but don’t fully understand you? How do you help them realize that they cannot fix you?
Funny you ask this. A friend who is really an acquaintance tried to fix me the other day. She is a busy Silicon Valley executive with her own business. She loves Jesus and when she went on a missions trip to South Africa years ago she was told that she has been called as a prophet. However, she has yet to go to any school of the prophets, learn about and understand her calling and get activated. She’s too busy moving and shaking.
One time I announced I was planning on publishing a book and she suddenly had to hang up the phone. I was not feeling as if she cared so I just did a double-take on our so-called friendship and decided that it was best to keep her at arms length.
She called back weeks later to find out how I was doing. Without asking, she starts giving her brand of advice, stupid things like I need to move, I need to stop doing this and that, and so on. She absolutely did not like it when I noted I didn’t ask for her advice and to insist on giving unsolicited advice was abuse. I have always encouraged her and loved on her when her life was hell. Whenever I had advice to give, I asked first if she wanted to hear it. I didn’t get that courtesy in return.
She even tried to say that friends will say things you don’t want to hear or truths that are hard to accept. She has no clue what my circumstances are in detail because she’s too busy to really find out.
In this case, I was able to let her know I’ve had several prophetic words from different sources spoken over my life recently that agree with each other. Some have come to fruition and others are on their way. In fact, I recently was told God is pleased that I am hearing his voice. Telling me to move because I couldn’t afford it was ridiculous because the property manager, a Christian, fought for me so I could get this place over five others who wanted it. I realized that since God wants me here, He’ll give me the resources to stay. Truth is I’ve even been getting financial gifts that I didn’t ask for. I’m not moving.
Consequently, I’ve decided that it’s not a deep friendship I wish to pursue. She’s got depression and bi-polar problems of her own and I don’t need to get mixed up in them. Her relationship with God is marginal, at best, so if she does call again, I’ll take her with a grain of salt.
I guess I’m saying that I dial down harmful relationships. Recently, I unfriended a person on Facebook because she’s toxic. I’ve figured out I can’t help people who don’t know they need help. They have nothing to offer and simply suck me dry.
I can’t change them. I can only change me. I don’t play those games any more.
On the other hand, what do you tell someone who does not believe in depression? How do you handle such apathy?
My family doesn’t buy into my depression or PTSD. Heck, they think my daughter is just fine, don’t believe her diagnosis and firmly believe I made her crazy. I don’t argue with stupid. That’s like arguing with an alcoholic when he’s drunk. It’s pointless.
I let life hit them between the eyes without any help from me. My daughter had a major outburst at my mother’s home on Thanksgiving that was so bad I had to show up. It was at that point I believe the family got their first taste of what I’ve been dealing with. I had absolutely nothing to do with the outburst and they were taken aback when the group home director told them they had to crush her tirade by standing firm.
Don’t worry about detractors. There will always be detractors. Make up in your mind that they don’t matter and don’t pick the fight. Walk away. You have more important things to do.
What have been some of your favorite resources? (Books, websites, etc.)
A Fractured mind, by Robert Oxnam
Children of the self-absorbed, by Nina W. Brown, Ed.D., L.P.C.
Courage to Heal, by Ellen Bass and Laura Davis
Culture of Honor, by Danny Silk
Daddy, Please say you’re sorry, by Amber
Dear Peanut, by Bill Johnson
Dreaming with God, by Bill Johnson
Dying to be free, by Beverly Cobain and Jean Larch
First person plural, by Cameron West
Foundations for prayer, by Gina Hyatt
Mayo Clinic, www.mayoclinic.com
Memory and abuse, by Charles L. Whitfield, M.D.
Mommie Dearest, by Christina Crawford
National Institute of Mental Health, www.nimh.nih.gov
Repressed memories, by Renee Fredrickson, Ph.D.
Spirit Wars, by Kris Valloton
Strengthen yourself in The Lord, by Bill Johnson
Supernatural ways of royalty, by Kris Valloton
Sybill, by Flora Rheta Schreiber
Triumph over darkness, by Wendy Ann Wood, M.A.
Virginia Woolf, unsure of author but read anything that examines her life.
When Heaven invades earth, by Bill Johnson
Do you find art and creativity (music, writing, crafting) to be helpful?
I’ve discovered that I can sketch. I’m severely right handed, e.g., my watch is worn on my right wrist, among other idiosyncrasies. However, I journal and sketch with my left hand. The sketching is incredibly helpful. I bring them with me to therapy and discuss their meaning. I’ve stepped back but recently feel a pull to sketch some more. Music also is a lifeline for me. It brings me so much joy and pleasure. A worship leader said I have perfect pitch when I sing. I needed that encouragement. I also love gardening. For me, it’s meditation. God talks to me and I simply listen. Gardening is such a joy although lately, it’s become a burden thanks to the latest wave of depression.
Donesha and I love acrostic poems – can you come up with an acrostic poem for the word “healing?”
H -He, as in Jesus, loves and approves of you, and is healing you right now
E -Extraordinary, You are extraordinary
A -Always, Know He is with you always
L -Love, You are worthy of unconditional love
I -Increase, May The Lord increase joy, peace, faith, light, perseverance in you
N -Never, Never love anyone who treats you like you’re ordinary
G -God, He made you wonderfully complex; and you’re His masterpiece
If depression had a name, a face, and the ability to hear you — but you could say only twelve words, what would you say?
You’re not welcome here. Go away. Never come back. Eff you.
Powerful – very powerful! Thank you so much for sharing.
Are you working on anything that you would like to share?
I am currently getting up to speed on WordPress preparing to launch my new blog home at http://BoricuaConfidential.com. It’s been a long time coming. I’m so excited but I have to admit the learning curve is really a straight line going up. I’m eternally grateful to my friend and blogging buddy, Barbie Swihart, My Freshly Brewed Life, who patiently sat with me one Sunday afternoon recently and helped me navigate WordPress.
Find and follow me at these locations:
Twitter: http://twitter.com/reinaborinquena, @Reina.Borinquena
RSS feed: BoricuaConfidential.com/atom.xml
Again, thank you so much for sharing your story, your wisdom.
― Walt Whitman