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Just Beneath the Surface I character “Michael” : the father speaks

 

Not much to tell. I am a father, a good man, hard worker — I have my shortcomings, but don’t we all?

Parenting — nothing terrifies me more. I’ve never had to question myself or ask for so much advice or help. I’ve got two kids. My youngest gives me hell. My oldest is an angel. I wish I’d told her that, more. 

 
My son reminds me of myself, except that I’m an only child. He’s got his sister and he fights with her, but he’s protective of her. That’s what I want for her. Because she’s — she’s not handling things well — neither of them are. And I can’t be everywhere at once, but I know my son. My son has his eye on her.
 
And as for him, well, he can toughen up. I have little patience for anything less than sucking it up and getting things done. Neither of them are allowed to pity themselves. Out of the question.
 
My daughter is sweet. She’s innocent. She’s an old soul. I look at her and I don’t see myself or her mother. I just see — her. I don’t tell her as often as I should, but, I’m proud of her. No matter what, I’m proud of her. Even with — everything that’s …
 
I’m always proud of her.
  
 Then there’s Kendall. Kendall and this new man …

Kendall and I never got along. She was always pressuring me. I was never able to be whatever it was that she — expected. That’s all there is to that.

Him — I always thought he was a coward. Now, I believe it more than ever. Kendall is the type of woman who knows how to stand up for herself. The fact that I see her arms covered in bruises makes no sense to me. I don’t recognize her, and I’m starting to believe that she believes the lies she tells to cover up for this guy.

My problem isn’t with her or this guy. I’m tired of wondering about them — they’re sick. Anyone who lets that type of thing go on is sick. She doesn’t want my help, so they can have each other.

My problem is this: seeing my kids’ faces when she’s not available. Or when she’s got those marks on her arms. What father wants to see his kids hurt? What father wouldn’t wanna fix that? She tells me this has nothing to do with me. Nothing to do with me? This has everything to do with me — it’s sick, and it’s affecting my kids. Any parent knows, your kids are your world. Their worry is your worry. Their hurt is your hurt.

She’s killing this family or what’s left of it, anyway. If she wants to kill herself with this lunatic, fine. But she’s not gonna take my kids along for the ride. That’s where I draw the line.

I know Kendall, and I know she’s so much stronger than the person he’s made her. She was strong. She was confident. She’s not like this. I don’t know if I’m more mad at her or scared for her.

This is dangerous…

Very dangerous…

And I don’t recognize her anymore.

 

Just Beneath the Surface I

Also, be sure and check out:

Character thoughts: Mystery antagonist

Character thoughts: Diamond

Character thoughts: Kendall

Character thoughts: Bobby

Just Beneath the Surface I
Character Thoughts: Kendall

Forgiving him is similar to being intoxicated. Repeating yourself. Having those out of body experiences, where you feel lightheaded as you watch yourself from someplace far, far away …

Lightheaded because I’m so elated to be back in his arms, safe again, hearing his heartbeat, feeling the yearning inside him to change.

Out of body because I want to shake myself and scream in my own face to run for my life.

But I’m intoxicated. And no matter what they say or how guilty they try to make me feel, I know that he’s intoxicated, too. Intoxicated by the confusion of wanting me near, but not knowing how to fix the problems — or fix me.

But that’s just it. I’m an adult. I’m a grown woman, and no matter what I do or say, I should be treated with respect.

Respect

Who would respect me when I don’t even remember how to respect myself? I’ve lost touch with me. But as long as I know the good outweighs the bad, I think I’ll be okay. I think he knows that I’m trying, and I believe in him, I believe that he’s trying just as hard as I am.

But why does one have to “try” not to put their hands on another person? What is wrong with me, that I have come to accept that as an “answer” …

I answer him without thinking. At times, I forget the simple things he asks of me. We all have pet peeves; why can’t I be smart enough to stop and think before I make such stupid mistakes? Look at him when he’s talking. Stand there and fight the urge to walk away when he’s mid-sentence. Don’t break my promises. Respect and appreciate our home. Respect him.

But I always seem to make mistakes.

And forgiving him is similar to being intoxicated. Having those out of body experiences, where you feel lightheaded as you watch yourself …

Just Beneath the Surface I

I love watching book trailers. They really give new life to a writers’ story; the images and music make everything pop.

Although I am still planning to do a book trailer for all of my books, I decided that for now, I would try something a bit different.

An author trailer …


llpix.com

I have many more (brief) videos at facebook.com/rhramsey. They are a combination of book character thoughts, music and images.

Feel free to share your facebook page or favorite book trailers 🙂

 

It is July 11, and I am happy to share 11 interesting facts about my novel, Just Beneath the Surface I.

1) My first main character, Kendall, is a very confident woman. Not only did she model in her younger years, but she has no problem saying exactly what is on her mind.

2) Kendall is a loving mother of two: Diamond and Julian

3) Throughout the book, Kendall changes. She loses herself, and she finds that fear has consumed her life. She is not the warm, nurturing mother she once was. Her new husband chips away at her little by little.

4) Kendall never thought she would see the day when she did not know what to say. She thought she knew what domestic violence looked like, and never thought that she would be the type of woman who would lie about, or cover up bruises.

5) In her new marriage, Kendall experiences a very abusive side of her new husband. She becomes nervous, unsure, and she constantly second guesses herself. She is anxious about what she says, does, and even what she thinks.

6) My second main character, Diamond, is the daughter of Kendall. She is an insecure teenager who is stumbling along and making very unhealthy choices; some of them involving older men. Diamond will find herself in a very dangerous situation where she is not only afraid, but she must also deal with some humiliating gossip at school.

7) All of Diamond’s friends turn away from her. Diamond is facing loneliness like never before. She only wants the relationship she once had with her mother back. But with her new marriage, Kendall hardly notices or has time to truly see how much her daughter misses her.

8) Bobby is a teacher’s aide who claims to “love hard,” and Diamond feels as though she truly needs him in her life.

9) Diamond is facing loneliness like never before. She only wants the relationship she once had with her mother back. But with her new marriage, Kendall hardly notices or has time to truly see how much her daughter misses her.

10) Kendall’s new husband is a very shy, quiet man. At times, he is a pushover.

11) Death will come to one of the characters in Just Beneath the Surface I.

Purchase Just Beneath the Surface I

Interview with Just Beneath the Surface II character ‘Brynn’

So nice to meet you, Brynn. Would you tell us a bit about your son, Landon?

He was always such a beautiful boy. So soft, so sweet, so gentle, so — perfect. He graduated high school at sixteen, he’s studying engineering, a surprisingly talented running back and more manners than — than — even the old gentlemen from the romantic black and white movies.

All that potential, yet I can see him slowly destroying himself.

Destroying himself? Please elaborate.

Well, he’s like a robot.  He feels nothing, he — he reacts to very few things, he scares me.

I see. Tell us exactly where this is coming from? How do you believe Landon became this person? This robot?

His life is a horror story, and the villain — I’m ashamed to say — may as well be me.

Now, he doesn’t understand that there’s a such thing as too much of a good thing — too much control.

How do you think Landon feels about you?

I know it seems to be a funny question, but after speaking with your oldest son, Petey, I can sense some contention.

I am very curious to know, now how Landon feels about his mother.

I don’t really know. All I know, is that as his mother, I fear for him.  When he looks into my eyes, there’s an emptiness.

The way he looks at me, sometimes, I know he’s got a few screws loose. The robot can’t cover up that look in his eye.

Exactly how has Landon got a “few screws loose?”

It’d take me far too long to explain — or describe — the way he looks at me. It makes me want to run and hide, yet it’s only a look, disguised by a smile, anytime I try to advise him. He doesn’t care that I want the best for him…

***Edit

Truthfully, when I think of the part I play in who he is and where he’s going, if I’m being honest, I can admit I failed him. I’m selfish and life is hell for me, just like it has to be hell for him.

You keep suggesting his past, and the hellish life he has lived.

Most young people turn down a very dangerous path when they experience the type of hurt Landon has experienced.

What, in your opinion, is Landon’s path?

Landon only allows success and perfection. Drug and alcohol were never an option for him.

My son is numb, and he didn’t need alcohol, drugs or any sort of distraction like that to kill the part of him that feels.

And what is his path, Brynn? Where do you see your son ten years from now?

I mean, no one can live like that. My son is not living. He’s a survivor, but he’s telling himself he’s in control. Bad mix. Bad, bad mix. But who am I to help him when I’m the problem? How can I help him when behind the smiles he gives me, he blames me…

And in response to your question, about how he feels about me, Landon is disgusted with me. I am, too — with myself.

Tell us a bit about this “robot,” Brynn. What is the robot, what does it do…

The robot feels nothing and allows him to smile at everything. Fixes everyone else without healing his own wounds. The robot’s going to either kill my son or get him put away for a very long time — I think soon he’s going to explode.

I’m sorry to hear that. I think there’s hope for Landon, though. He’s got good people around him, and with that type of love, maybe he can heal before he harms himself.

I’d like to think that. I hope for that. But I’m a realist, and I’ll leave it at that.

Inside the mind of Just Beneath the Surface ‘mystery’ antagonist

 

It stays between Kendall and me

 What happens between Kendall and I is just that — between me and Kendall. Not one person could look me in the eye and tell me I don’t love my wife. That woman knows how I feel about her. Should it matter what anyone else thinks?

 

 

Women are peculiar creatures

 They have peculiar needs, peculiar wants, peculiar attitudes and peculiar ways of expressing gratitude – they simply never do it.

 A woman can call a man fat, lash out after a long day, make jokes about ‘training’ men, even laugh at his package. But the moment a man retaliates or admits to ‘training’ his woman, he’s abusive. Someone explain it to me, because apparently, I’m too ignorant to understand. I work all day. I work with incompetent fools, and I refuse to come home to an insubordinate woman. It’s the principal. It doesn’t change my love.

 

Looking back at all of our fights

 Deep down, I know I haven’t handled myself the way I knew I should have. Neither has she. I apologize to her in every way possible: Roses, my apologies, when we make love — nothing makes up for the moments where I take it too far, but the closest thing to making it up to her is the love we make.

 I give her everything I have, and I think that the problem with women is their inability to get rid of their walls. They’ve got walls around their hearts, and it causes them to do and say the most horrible things, as though men don’t have feelings too. I’m here to tell you — we, men have feelings. Maybe in your opinion it doesn’t excuse my blow-ups, but in my opinion, blowing up is the only way to get results with a woman as stubborn as Kendall. I know it’s wrong, and I want to handle her differently, but just when I think we understand each other, I’m apologizing all over again.

 

As time goes on, I see improvement, but I also feel her drifting away from me

 Nights like these I sit, I wait, I wonder, I hurt and I want her to feel what I feel.

 Nights like these, Kendall leaves me no choice.

 When she finally shows her face, and I’ve been here sitting alone, when I’ve got a business trip in the morning, and she’s out with her kids all weekend, I could crush her with my bare hands.

 Before I know it, I don’t even see her. I only hear her, which makes it worse. The sound of her crying when she’s the reason I’ve broken my promise yet again is like this trigger. I’m the loaded gun.

 She makes the mistake of telling me she doesn’t know if she can do this any longer. Did she think that would make things any better — was this the time to say that to me? No.

 Doesn’t she see me standing over her? Does she think this is the way I want it to be between us? Doesn’t she know I try?

 Yet I’m a monster for having feelings?

 

Watching her sleep, looking at what I’ve done to her

 People would think I’m the monster. They would think she deserves better. Well, they’re wrong, because once this passes over, we’ll grow stronger. And if she doesn’t change, and I can’t change, and if she leaves me like she says she will…

 

I don’t know

 

Honestly? I dream of a place where Kendall and me can just be. That place isn’t here. This isn’t where we belong. If she won’t submit to me here, I know for a fact that she will submit to me there.

 

 

 

 

 

 Just Beneath the Surface I