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Girl Talk!! with Sherry Pringle of Healthy Happy Relationships! Today, Sherry has a few topics, and I will be in the hot seat, with some really tough questions.  Feel free to hop in, share your view; share your thoughts ..girltalk

Sherry: One of the main reasons I felt confident in my ability as a Relationship Coach, was because of all the times friends and family repeatedly came to me asking for relationship advice. Once I really focused on getting more knowledge in relationship support I was able to really help them more.

1. I’m wondering: If Kendall Berkely from your book, Just Beneath the Surface, came to you for relationship advice, what would you, as a mother/friend, say to her?

RH: That’s such a tough question — such a tough question. I am not a professional, and I don’t think I could handle a career like that. I wish I had the strength, but I don’t think that I do. But if asked, I would have to say, my advice would be: “Kendall, I’m here. What’s happening is breaking my heart. I know it has to be breaking yours. But you won’t find me judging you, telling you what to do, what not to do, or what I think. I just want you to know, I’m here for you, and when you say the word, we get you HELP, and we get you OUT of there.”

I’d feel like a criminal, standing by, practically watching it happen. Who knows, maybe I would be the type of person to anonymously call and report the man, and try to get the abuser arrested.

But as far as advice, sometimes, wanting the best for someone and giving them advice, can cause a serious strain on the friendship. Sometimes, it’s hard to know the difference between judgment and advice.

I’d like to think, that I would first ask myself a few questions. When I have been at my worst, was I venting to a friend, because I needed an ear? Was I speaking to a friend, sort of crying out for help? I say that to say, my answer would depend on “Kendall’s” need in that moment. I don’t believe someone in that type of situation is unaware of how dangerous her relationship is; more than likely, she is battling what she feels, what she wants to feel, what she knows, what’s been distorted.

Sherry: 2. In the real world, do you think that guys like Spencer can change and learn to control their abusive blow ups? Where can they go to get help?

RH: Wow! Even more difficult question. And I stress, *I am not a professional. This is just my opinion.*

He needs to be incarcerated, first and foremost. Jail, prison, plenty of time away from potential victims. (I think.)

But as much as I despise a man who is anything like Spencer, I would stand at a distance and hope and PRAY he could take some serious time to reflect. And I mean time alone. I would hope that whatever has happened and caused him to become an abuser, would come to light, and he would get help. Serious help. Statistics are against people like Spencer, but I would never say “never”.

Again, I’m no professional, but I believe they need to seek help as well as be prepared for the consequences of their actions.

Sherry: 3. As an author and more, how do you stay focused and confident enough to complete each novel?How much time do you spend working on that novel weekly?

Focus comes to me naturally, but only when it comes to writing. I say it a lot, but I repeat it because it’s true: I work on several projects at once. Short stories, novels, guest posts, anything that can keep creativity flowing. My attention span is not so great in real life, so the only time I am “focused” is when I am writing.

Confidence? That’s nearly a foreign concept to me. I write a lot about self-esteem and confidence and believing in ourselves, because  in my heart, I believe in the possibility that if it is God’s will, I will touch someone’s life through writing. I want everyone around me to know how talented and what a gift they are to the world .. but me — my thoughts? Sherry, you’ve seen first-hand what I say about myself. I’m definitely a work in progress.

How much time do I spend working on novels? I jot things down all throughout the day. I go to bed working on excerpts that I have emailed myself. And if I am not working on a novel, I am working on short stories and guest posts or networking and *sigh* promoting. I suppose just about all day, every day.

… And that concludes our chat, for today. Thanks so much Sherry 🙂

Any discussions ideas? Free free to leave them in comments!


“Treasures”

by

Donesha Thompson&RH Ramsey

When young, I waited for my treasures: my crowning glory – my body’s miraculous rite of passage – key to womanhood –
I’d examine them in the mirror, non-existent, hidden under a sweatshirt with a hood

I watched them scrupulously
I wondered what they would be …

Tiny diamond tear drops – like the older girls at school? Mangos – like those of my older sisters? Mountains majestic, like those of the women on my mother’s side of the family?
Anxiously, I waited, and it seemed that overnight, like two gifts, they came to be

I finally had them, and for awhile, I walked with my head held high.
And soon, I giggled as my little sisters and their friends poked out their chests and waited for their own buds to form and rise

Years passed …

Wedding gowns …

Miracles were born …

Appointments missed

Family came first …
And suddenly, these treasures were no longer treasures – these lumps – were my curse

It couldn’t be more real…but I refuse to accept this – aimless – I am walking into my own destiny..resenting it with every fading piece of me. Why me? Why a lump? A cut? An incision? Excision?

No happiness lives here…his face is blank, and already, my face has disapeared into history..a procedure does not calm or ease the hurricane casting down on my home -my family

I have already begun to be yanked from the arms of my loved ones, who have no idea…

When our hearts meet, their spirits will cry for me in the wee hours of the night…

This is a kill shot of agony thru the depths of my soul..

For how can I reason with such a serial killer?

My despair has caused me to forget the fighter and winner – the conqueror that I am…

I can’t let the enemy win…my flesh may be dying but my energy and hunger for survival will not…

it is with my children and those who will never cast me out of memory..I will live on and I am strong…

No serial killer, no hurricane, no more of me will fade; let me enjoy these moments; let the sunlight dance upon me

I am majestic, a diamond, a rose, a treasure … I will live on