Domestic Violence Awareness Month: In closing

On both Tuesday and Monday, Liz Young shared with us her heartbreaking story. She also showed us profound her strength. Today, in closing, here are a few more pieces of the articles I have found.

Emotional Abuse is a form of abuse where the perpetrator uses fear, humiliation or verbal assault to undermine the self-esteem of their victim.

Many people think that if they’re not being physically abused, they’re not being abused. This couldn’t be further from the truth.

Emotional abuse is extremely difficult to identify because it is often subtle. Emotional abuse leaves no physical “marks.”

Emotional abuse often accompanies other forms of abuse, but it can happen on its own as well. No abuse – neglect, physicalsexual or financial – happens without psychological consequences, therefore all abuse contains elements of emotional abuse.

Emotional abuse doesn’t just “go away.”  Emotional abuse gets worse over time as it erodes a person’s self-esteem, confidence, and trust in their own judgment. It is similar to brainwashing – it can cause a victim to question reality and their own sanity, which leaves them at the mercy of relying on the very person who is abusing them.

Like other forms of abuse, emotional abusers strive to overpower the other person – the one with all the power has all of the control.

Emotional abuse is every bit as damaging as physical abuse.

– See more at: http://www.bandbacktogether.com/emotional-abuse-resources/#sthash.7PBcXQhb.dpuf

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The following are a list of vulnerabilities that may exist in the victims of manipulators. By no means comprehensive, these traits tend to be common in people who are often victimized by Psychological Manipulators. A desire to please and earn the approval and acceptance of others. Naivete – the victim doesn’t want to believe that anyone is cunning or ruthless and may be in denial of own victimhood. A fear of negative emotions. Over-internationalization – believing what the manipulator says to be true, which can result in self-doubt or shame.  Excessive empathy – the victim tries really hard to understand the point of view of the manipulator and believes the manipulator has a justifiable reason to be hurtful. Over-conscientiousness – victim is too willing to give the manipulator the benefit of the doubt. Low Self-Confidence – victim lacks the ability to say no, doubts themselves, lacks confidence. Emotional Dependency – the victim has a dependent or submissive personality. The more submissive or dependent, the more vulnerable the victim is to exploitation. Low emotional skills – when the victim does not understand his or her emotional self well, they misinterpret feelings – See more at: http://www.bandbacktogether.com/psychological-manipulation-resources/#sthash.BpH61qcp.dpuf

Breaking or Striking Objects

The abusive personality may break your treasured object, beat his/her fists on the table or chair or throw something at or past you. Breaking your things is often used as a punishment for some imagined misdeed on your part. Sometimes it will be justified by saying that now that you are with him/her, you don’t need these items any more. Breaking your possessions also has the effect of de-personalising you, denying you your individuality or literally trying to break links to your past. Beating items of furniture or throwing objects will often be justified by saying you wound him/her up so much they lost control, once again shifting the blame for this behaviour on to you, but is actually used to terrorise you into submission. Only very immature or abusive people beat on objects in the presence of other people in order to threaten or intimidate them.

Any Force during an Argument

BIG warning sign! What starts off in early courtship as a bit of a push or a a shove, can turn into fullblown beatings not long down the road. An abuser may physically restrain you from leaving the room, lash out at you with his/her hand or another object, pin you against a wall or shout ‘right in your face’. Basically any form of force used during an argument can be a sign that serious physical violence is a strong possibility. http://www.hiddenhurt.co.uk/warning_signs.html

http://www.helpguide.org/mental/domestic_violence_abuse_types_signs_causes_effects.htm

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Again, I thank you for reading.

 

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