Not much to tell. I am a father, a good man, hard worker — I have my shortcomings, but don’t we all?
Parenting — nothing terrifies me more. I’ve never had to question myself or ask for so much advice or help. I’ve got two kids. My youngest gives me hell. My oldest is an angel. I wish I’d told her that, more.My son reminds me of myself, except that I’m an only child. He’s got his sister and he fights with her, but he’s protective of her. That’s what I want for her. Because she’s — she’s not handling things well — neither of them are. And I can’t be everywhere at once, but I know my son. My son has his eye on her. And as for him, well, he can toughen up. I have little patience for anything less than sucking it up and getting things done. Neither of them are allowed to pity themselves. Out of the question. My daughter is sweet. She’s innocent. She’s an old soul. I look at her and I don’t see myself or her mother. I just see — her. I don’t tell her as often as I should, but, I’m proud of her. No matter what, I’m proud of her. Even with — everything that’s … I’m always proud of her. Then there’s Kendall. Kendall and this new man …
Kendall and I never got along. She was always pressuring me. I was never able to be whatever it was that she — expected. That’s all there is to that.
Him — I always thought he was a coward. Now, I believe it more than ever. Kendall is the type of woman who knows how to stand up for herself. The fact that I see her arms covered in bruises makes no sense to me. I don’t recognize her, and I’m starting to believe that she believes the lies she tells to cover up for this guy.
My problem isn’t with her or this guy. I’m tired of wondering about them — they’re sick. Anyone who lets that type of thing go on is sick. She doesn’t want my help, so they can have each other.
My problem is this: seeing my kids’ faces when she’s not available. Or when she’s got those marks on her arms. What father wants to see his kids hurt? What father wouldn’t wanna fix that? She tells me this has nothing to do with me. Nothing to do with me? This has everything to do with me — it’s sick, and it’s affecting my kids. Any parent knows, your kids are your world. Their worry is your worry. Their hurt is your hurt.
She’s killing this family or what’s left of it, anyway. If she wants to kill herself with this lunatic, fine. But she’s not gonna take my kids along for the ride. That’s where I draw the line.
I know Kendall, and I know she’s so much stronger than the person he’s made her. She was strong. She was confident. She’s not like this. I don’t know if I’m more mad at her or scared for her.
And I don’t recognize her anymore.
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