I find myself wondering if self-esteem is a bit of an illusion …

Self-esteem is the greatest sickness known to man or woman because it’s conditional. ~Albert Ellis

…  And in this journey, many days I find: my prognosis is bleak. For once, I won’t be vague: All within days, I sign my contract with an independent publisher, receive two rejection letters from magazines, and more unexpected rejection from places I really didn’t expect it (back to vague) …

So, I’m wondering: Where is my balance?

Through being introspective and observing many people, I find myself wondering if self-esteem is a bit of an illusion …

When you receive acceptance letters and rejection letters, good news and bad news, positive energy and negative energy, seemingly all at once, on what do you focus? Do you choose to focus on the good? Do you fall into the negative black hole? Are you conflicted?

For every wide open door — light illuminating your face, the scent of success filling your nostrils — there’s a brick wall.

For every positive person, there’s an abundance of negative energy around the corner — maybe a group of people silently waiting for you to fail.

For every proud moment, there are lows.

But how many of us are balanced — really and truly balanced? Why does self-esteem seem to be an illusion? Why is self-esteem so often conditional?

I hope you find time, today to see light in the good news, beauty in the little things. We are all powerful beyond our achievements, beyond what people  say or think of us.

But …

Do you find it difficult see it?  Then what are you focusing on? Where is your balance?

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10 comments
  1. self esteem is just like happiness…you fight for it/to maintain it and it’s a constant process…not a destination. so i relish the small achievements and file the rejections. in the end it’s really all about the good stuff anyway.

    • So true: “File em’ away”
      I think I’m almost there with my thinking. Especially when I can make somebody else smile or feel better about something — anything. But. For me and my own personal self? — So much easier said than done for some reason!!

  2. Donesha said:

    Whew! This is something truly special to envelop ones mind around. I mean, what is self esteem really? The truth is that everyone falls short of it at some point or another. Then the brain automatically sends a signal to embrace all of the lows when it happens. Hmm. it begins to stutter in uncertainty. So it takes conditioning right? Conditioning of the mind in stating to oneself: “I know I have flaws, and I know I will fail sometimes more than I succeed, but I dare not give up…because when I continue, I know that I have won….despite whatever else…and if I am my own worst enemy…God please grant me the serenity. Amen” Love this post.

    • That was amazing, D Thompson. Wise — as always — very, very wise.

  3. I’m going through something similar myself. People tell me they LOVE my product, but sales aren’t growing very fast. I wonder if I’m doing it right. It’s tough.

    In the greater scheme of things, I’m learning to balance the time… wrote about it today! 🙂

    Thanks for sharing. It’s good to know others share the same thought battle.

  4. I struggle with this myself. It is a constant battle for me, some days I think the worst thoughts when it comes to my own self image while other days I could care less.

  5. I think it is because we are looking inward instead of outward. We have worth not because we get an acceptance letter or a rejection letter we have worth whether someone abuses us or treats us like royalty, our worth does not come from what others think or our circumstances. Our worth comes from the fact that we were created for such a time as this. For me personally, I would take it further and relate it to my faith in God, but, if you are not a person of faith you at least have to acknowledge that your time is now. You have been fearfully and wonderfully made for right now. Ups and downs will come embrace that this is your time, cancer, tornadoes, rude people do not define you. You are wonderful.

  6. I think.. if self-esteem is based on outward conditions, then it’s not SELF esteem. It’s nothing more than an erroneous opinion of our worth based on the acceptance or rejection of other people. Don’t give them your power. God says you’re worthy and that’s all there is to it!

  7. I really think having self-esteem is the key to life. You just have to decide you’re going to like yourself:)

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