Just Beneath the Surface I: “Intoxicated”

Just Beneath the Surface I
Character Thoughts: Kendall

Forgiving him is similar to being intoxicated. Repeating yourself. Having those out of body experiences, where you feel lightheaded as you watch yourself from someplace far, far away …

Lightheaded because I’m so elated to be back in his arms, safe again, hearing his heartbeat, feeling the yearning inside him to change.

Out of body because I want to shake myself and scream in my own face to run for my life.

But I’m intoxicated. And no matter what they say or how guilty they try to make me feel, I know that he’s intoxicated, too. Intoxicated by the confusion of wanting me near, but not knowing how to fix the problems — or fix me.

But that’s just it. I’m an adult. I’m a grown woman, and no matter what I do or say, I should be treated with respect.

Respect

Who would respect me when I don’t even remember how to respect myself? I’ve lost touch with me. But as long as I know the good outweighs the bad, I think I’ll be okay. I think he knows that I’m trying, and I believe in him, I believe that he’s trying just as hard as I am.

But why does one have to “try” not to put their hands on another person? What is wrong with me, that I have come to accept that as an “answer” …

I answer him without thinking. At times, I forget the simple things he asks of me. We all have pet peeves; why can’t I be smart enough to stop and think before I make such stupid mistakes? Look at him when he’s talking. Stand there and fight the urge to walk away when he’s mid-sentence. Don’t break my promises. Respect and appreciate our home. Respect him.

But I always seem to make mistakes.

And forgiving him is similar to being intoxicated. Having those out of body experiences, where you feel lightheaded as you watch yourself …

Just Beneath the Surface I

Advertisements
3 comments
  1. Rosey said:

    That’s great that you offered a free code!

  2. Regina said:

    Sounds like an interesting read. Thanks for the coupon code!

  3. This is great. I’ve never seen a book with a free offer code, I may have to try this myself. Thank you.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s