Where were you: “I had to save both of us from falling in love with a dream.”

Where were you?

“Mystery” Character thoughts

Please don’t fall for him

Please don’t fall for him

Please don’t fall for him

Please, God, don’t let me fall

Have you ever watched a storm roll in? Heard the thunder coming closer and closer, frowned as all of your plans were ruined, and now, nothing could possibly go right? But then, as much as you hated to admit it, the cool breeze that swept over you, the melody of the raindrops — all of it — was so refreshing, that you forgot about your “plans” and the way you thought you felt about the storm?

He reminded me of one of those surprise rain storms. When I saw him coming, I frowned. He was nothing like what I thought I wanted or needed. Certainly, he would bring nothing good to my life; I had everything figured out, yet I knew nothing at all.

Gentle, unexpected, captivating and peaceful. Nothing that he seemed.  Even with our own “personal storms,” together, we were nothing more than a sweet melody.

Christian: the self-proclaimed liar and cheater, was so vulnerable, that there was no way he could be anything more than lost.  So lost, that not a day went by where he was not at least mildly intoxicated. But he saw me clearly, and I saw him for who he was …

Never once did he show me the side of him that broke hearts everywhere he went. Never once did he lie to me or tell me what I wanted to hear. He never disrespected me. He never even wanted anything more than to be with me, and he claimed to be so in love that sex should wait. He said that in me, he found someone worth holding on to.

In a short period of time, a very short period of time, I fell. I was lost in a world we created. In this world, we shared everything, laughed, bickered, dreamed together and held on tight to happiness — bliss.

I had the key to his heart. But all the time, he told me that I was the only one with that key, and that he knew for a fact that I would break his heart. I would abandon him just as everyone else had. I assured him that his mind was playing tricks on him, that I cared about “us” just as much as he did. Deep down, I was so afraid of getting hurt, that I spent our time apart figuring out how to escape him unscathed.

I had to save both of us from falling in love with a dream.

I felt that I had to open my eyes.

I had to distance myself.

Yet, deep down, I hope he’ll find me, again.

Please don’t miss him

Please stop missing him

Please, God, help me to stop missing him.

Please, God, let him find me, again …

 

 

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10 comments
  1. wadeinpublishing said:

    This is so good, M’ame. I could read and reread it.

  2. Sounds like you’re a very cautious and smart woman! I’ve been in that/this point in my life as well. It’s difficult once you’ve fallen and all you can ask yourself is why you let your guards down.

    • Thank you soooo much for visiting and commenting 🙂 Yes, walls and guards are a double edged sword, aren’t they?

  3. This is nicely written… it leaves me with questions. Wondering what happened? Why did she go? Where is she now? What dream was she afraid of? Was it a nightmare underneath?

    Thanks for captivating us!

  4. The Detox Diva said:

    Stunning illustrations with words. The emotions are completely captivating. I found myself lost in finding out what happens next! Brilliantly written.

  5. Kristl said:

    Beautifully written…it almost sounds like the beginning of a novel!!! Tell me more!

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