Hostage

Hostage: Addiction
Poem by Donesha Thompson

Give me one last look at her, before I give her up
I’m spiraling out of control as she disappears in the distance.
I can’t lie and say that I’d rather be with her at this point
I want you and how you make me feel.

Forget about her; I don’t need her and she doesn’t need me.
She wants peace, reconciliation, loyalty and kindness
But you, no, you don’t care, you let me be.

I can create a chaotic circle of hell and you wouldn’t mind at all
Just as long as I pay you a visit from time to time
We dance together, and you help me to numb the pain when she tries to come back

She brings with her emotions I’d rather forget and throw away
She makes me want to get even closer to you, get lost with you, get lost in you

But wait, can you love me back like she can?

You sit and wait and I submit to you everytime, is this fair?

When I do, I wish I don’t; when I don’t, I wish I did

I want her back and my soul cries for her
Unlike you, she loved me back
You don’t love me, you are trying to kill me
Let me go so that I can go back to her

~Release me~

Or not …

I am back again, I want you and not her
I look in the mirror, while she’s looking back at me

She is disappearing, while you keep  me hostage

Maybe I don’t need her – I need you, because she doesn’t want me

I’m yours ~ your hostage ~ be my release

by

Donesha Thompson

*******
You promise and it lies. It seduces you and you succumb. You push and it pulls you back again. You hurt and its numbs — and again, you promise —  it lies. The cycle holds you hostage.
 It lurks, and it waits like a demon deep inside of you — driving you, killing you slowly.
They’ve all given up on you. You’ve given up on you. You’ve tried, tried harder – and you falter. You’ve begun to believe the demons as they consume you.
But…
No matter how many times it takes, no matter how many times you fall, even though you hurt them along the way, you have to keep standing. Keep getting up, keep holding on, telling those voices NO.
Keep getting up.  Surround yourself with people who believe in you. You can beat it.
Here are more tips:
  •  Practice the arts. Paint, draw, sculpt, sing, dance. Etc.
  •  See a therapist.
  •   Connect with someone else who is hurting.
  •  Start a project that is bigger than yourself.
  •  Revisit an old hobby.
  •  Teach someone something. (Anything!)
  •  Learn something new each day. (Anything!)
  •  Write in a daily journal.
  •  Stretch yourself spiritually by suspending disbelief for a day.
  • Write a letter to your addiction where you say farewell to it.
  •  Join a recovery forum online. http://www.spiritualriver.com/101-helpful-tips-on-how-to-stay-clean-and-sober/
THE FACTS:
  • ” Addiction to prescription drugs is a growing problem among young people . OxyContin and Vicodin are not illegal when prescribed by a physician. They are addictive, and have become increasingly popular among drug users. Using prescription drugs for non-medical purposes is being used at approximately the same rate as marijuana among people between the ages of 12-20.
  •  The average drug addict needs to come up with $200 per day to support his or her addiction . If an addict resorts to stealing to get money for drugs, he or she will need to steal approximately $1,000 worth of property to raise $200.
  •  One-quarter of all hospital admissions are related to alcoholism . The total cost to society each year due to alcohol and/or drug addiction is estimated to be $250 billion per year.
  •  Addiction to drugs and/or alcohol is a problem for approximately 30 million people in the United States alone . Addictions to these substances and the mental health issues that go along with them are one of the most serious health problems that are affecting modern society today.” http://brainz.org/10-surprising-facts-about-addiction/
AddictionSurvivors.org is a not-for-profit organization dedicated to providing peer support communities for those with addiction disorders and their families and friends. These forums are funded in whole by individuals whose lives have been touched by addiction in one way or another.
http://addictionblog.org/  “Our mission: To incite intelligent communication about the trends and discoveries in the treatment of addiction.”
THE VISUAL:

Jesus Christ has done something about your problem. He came to liberate you from such problems and enable you to gain self-control, a fruit of the Holy Spirit (Galatians 5:22,23).

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6 comments
  1. Ashley said:

    amazing poem!! the author is even more amazing! 🙂

  2. Loved the poem. I really think it is well written and describes what it is like for someone who struggles with an addiction of some sort. The addicts will find healing in what you have written, as will the friends and family members waiting for them to make changes. It can be hard for both sides.
    You’re an amazing, intelligent, caring, woman who will impact many lives with your writing.

    • Donesha said:

      Yaaay! Her social network is awesome. Rhonda your research on this subject is impeccable. Keep it coming baby doll.

  3. awesome blog you have …Thanks for sharing …Tim

    • Thanks so much for commenting, and I enjoy your blog as well.

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