‘Where were you?':”I’m lost in a dark place.”

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Where were you Chronicles: Dylan’s Diary

‘Where were you?’ character Dylan’s thoughts

After work the other day, I noticed an airplane flying by. Then, for a split second, the sunlight was gone.

For some reason, I panicked. I panick a lot lately. I feel like everything is caving in, closing in, taking me under. I know why; it’s the memories. My spirit has been taken over, my mind is not my own, nothing adds up. The guilt overwhelms me. Feeling weak infuriates me.

When the sunlight, when reality, when everything that makes sense goes away, for that split second, I’m lost in a dark place. I don’t allow it to keep me down, but when it takes hold, I know what it is and I fight it. But am I really fighting it by “fighting” it?

It’s like I know it’s winning, because who wins a fight by running? Confronting nothing? Hiding and pretending? That’s me. She who crumbled, hides and pretends. She who waits for the panic, the darkness, to pass.

And it does; the sun breaks through.

I see the sun, and I can breathe, again …

***

Unmistakable Truly

As isolated terrain becomes plateaus and plateaus become mountains, still I stand. And all that I see is grand.

I sway. And all that I feel I I feel that I’ve stored, and for years to come I’ll replay

In my recesses, I’ll play. Like a child, all alone, I discover,  ascend and descend the purlieus of temporary trails

No, lies aren’t so frail. Not when the truth hurts and through disingenuous smiles, the path is derailed

Eventually, I’m stuck between walls of stone on either side of my temple. Running toward lights of dissension at a pace that shames me

So cold and closed in – I’m frozen; just frame me, cage me, hang me overhead like decoration then point and blame me.

But never will you stop my heart and thoughts from racing. Long gone was I, long before these walls thought to chase me

Before time can get ready, I am then granulated like that of a cane, but instead of sweet, I become bitter to the taste

Oh, time -so displaced. Oh night – so misplaced. My sight left this place for as bitter as I’ve become, at least I’ll never see hells face

I’ve been pierced far too many times to pass  my medal to beasts of gully

Instead, I will be that miraculous desolate plain that morphs from plateau to mountain … unmovable, unmistakable truly.

 by

Donesha and Rhonda

 

 

Update:

After a brief hiatus, as I have been catching up on editing and preparing  two of my books for submission to publishers, while Donesha has been preparing to self publish a book of poetry, we are excited to resume with the Where were you chronicles.

In this series of snippets combined with poetry, the lives of the characters in Where were you (a prequel to Fountains) will be shared  bi-weekly.

Just Beneath the Surface II is currently being edited, and I am excited to be closer to publishing it, as Just Beneath the Surface II and Fountains are (probably) the last novels that I will self-publish.

Stay tuned for more information on Donesha’s book of poetry!

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